You found me one lazy Sunday afternoon when I saw your letter posted on a Facebook group. I replied in my usual smartass way and you quickly responded with a retort of your own.
I’ll admit your letter did get me a bit hot and bothered. All this talk of me doing you on any available surface in the household just sounded so kinky and downright naughty.
We’ve had this crazy love affair going on for 20 years now and it’s been one hell of a wild ride. You’re kind of like that ex-boyfriend I should have ditched but kept going back to. Whether it was the hot make-up sex or something much deeper (no pun intended you pervs), we’ve always gone right back to each other.
If it wasn’t for this insane passion and my unrelenting need to put words to paper or screen or balled up napkin, I’d have thrown this blog away a long ass time ago. But, there you are dear writing, waiting for me patiently. Almost like a lonely kitten in desperate need of attention.
I do love you. Honestly. Despite this torrid affair we’ve had you’ve always been there for me, especially when I needed you. You’ve been there when I drank too much and needed to spew my thoughts onto the screen.
And when I just wanted to be funny, you were there for that too. Something tells me you were laughing at me instead of with me but that’s okay. I can take a bit of ribbing from time to time.
Let me tell you, dear writing, you’re awesome. You’ve given me a gift of sorts. Maybe even a talent that some wish they had. Sure that’s a little bit cocky of me to say but in my defense there are talents people have that I wish I had. I can’t think of any right now but I’m sure there are several!
Anywho, I want you to know I’m sorry I don’t do you as often as I should these days. The years are climbing and even at just shy of 34 I sometimes feel more like a worn out 90-year-old who just needs a nap. Seems a bit lame but depression can do that kind of shit to you.
Now here’s the good news: I am eating better and sleeping a bit better. Both of those factors make it so much easier to do you on any and every surface around the apartment and for more than five or ten minutes. Yes, dear writing, I know you like that.
Just give me a little bit more time and I promise to do you harder than a screen door getting banged in a Category 5 hurricane. We’ve lasted this long so what’s a few more days or weeks?
Lots of love,
Your favorite writer aka Me